Monthly Archives: January 2013

Your Worst (Inner) Critic

English: Book illustration, "The Critic&q...

English: Book illustration, “The Critic”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you are anything like me, you are your own worst critic.

Way too hard on yourself.

Worrying too much about what you should have done instead of patting yourself on the back for what you did do.

And maybe even struggling to take the first step that will lead you down the path towards a fulfilling life. A life in which you are able to do what you really want to do.

Whatever that might be.

I have taken a few steps myself, but I have to constantly remind myself to be positive, and even more important than that, to think positively.

So to keep me on track, I’ve been going through some old feng shui newsletters from Vicky White, Feng Shui Practitioner. I saved them because they are easy reads and they help keep me focussed.

I’m going to adapt some of them, to make them more relevant to me (and hopefully you). Here’s the first one…..

A simple 4-step process to train your inner critic to tell you the whole truth.

1. What’s your critic telling you? It’s most likely in the form of a judgment or criticism. One place to start is to look at one of your goals that isn’t happening. For me a good example has to do with writing. You too might be hearing:

You’re out of control, you’re too scattered. Look at you finding a million other things to do rather than sitting down at your desk and writing. You’re so weak willed. You’re useless.

This is your critic expressing anger – and anger is usually all you hear.

2. What’s the fear your critic is expressing? I’m afraid you’re sabbotaging yourself and you’re just going to keep finding excuses not to write. And you’ll never be that person you know you can be. I’m scared for you.

This is your critic expressing fear.

3. What’s the request your inner critic would like to make? I’d like you to make a list of things that truly need your attention, and schedule a time to do them each day.  Then schedule time to sit down and write. Make a plan, and cross things off the list as they get done. This will help you feel a sense of accomplishment when things get done, and you will be more likely to write without getting distracted.

(Keep asking your critic for what she’s requesting of you until you get some really specific requests.)

4. What’s the love behind your critic’s anger? I love you and want the best for you. I want you to experience the transformation that comes from having your energy flow freely in your body. I want you to be able to do what you want and feel good about it because I love you so much. Do you understand?

This is the hardest thing to hear. But it is the most important. It will give you the freedom, the permission, to do what you want to do.

Your critic really does have your best interests at heart – the trouble is she’s not telling you the full story – she starts with her anger and more than likely that just makes you feel more frustrated because you start believing you really are useless so what’s the point?

Look to see where you may be blocked in going for your goals. What’s your critic telling you? Make sure you get the full story – your critic’s fear, request and love as well as her anger. Then you’ll have some action steps to take and you will have turned your inner critic into your coach.

Adapted from:

©2009 Vicky White, The Feng Shui Coach

If you want to start bringing  good energy and luck into your life, here is a great way to do it!

Categories: Feng Shui, Writing | Tags: , , | 9 Comments

New Wine for a New Year

Since I got my book up on Amazon earlier this month, G and I have been celebrating by opening good bottles of wine at night. Not that we intentionally open bad bottles, but we have been spoiling ourselves a little. (It helped when he found some great deals on some of our favorite wines online.)

We’ve also been drinking less, so we can justify drinking a more expensive bottle. 🙂

Here is a new wine we just discovered:


Poizin – “The Wine to Die For.” We opened a 2010 Zinfandel. It hails from Armida Winery in Sonoma County, California. G read the back of the bottle to me while I was getting dinner ready.

As she stands in the clearing the cold wind dances through the trees, swirling her golden mane over her diaphanous, silken black gown.

“What the hell does di-a-phan-ous mean?” he asked. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him.

“What the hell are you reading?” I asked back. “It means transparent.” He went on:

The full moon melts into the paleness of her skin. As she stirs the cauldron of zinfandel she chants an other worldly incantation. From vials as old as the echoes of time she adds minute pinches of her ancestry. Her slender fingers rub together as the grains fall, releasing their magic as they touch the fermenting must. On her face is the look of both good and evil, of love and hate, of life and sex and all that stirs you. What is this unearthly potion? It is Poizin, the wine to die for.

“Well okay then, let’s try it!” I said enthusiastically.

It was fabulous! Very fruity on the nose, smooth and rich going down. Chocolaty, even. We both really liked it. And at around $25, it’s affordable.

Ours didn’t come in a coffin, but check this out:

Photo Credit: Steve Tobak

Photo Credit: Steve Tobak


Try it and let me know what you think!

Categories: Uncategorized, Wine, Thou Art My Red Muse | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

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